Mustaches as an Art Form

For the many times I have banked on a miracle growing out of my facial pores, I have never treated the craft of mustache growth as anything other than a sheer artform. It is not the thickness of the stache or chinstrap, or whatever way you outlet your emotion on your face, it is the creativity backing it. Last year, for example, I pulled of the upset of a lifetime by rocking a fumanchu. While it was pencil thin, my burnt siena sanchez electrified any room I walked into. That fumanchu said a lot about myself--serious, mysterious, hardcore. The question I ask to each participant in this race to manhood is what will your stache say about you? Perhaps a better way of asking this question is as follows--when this competition is all said and done, what do you have to live for? God Bless Your Souls.